298: Empowering Young Mothers Through Childcare and Education With Nancy Sylvester

In this heartwarming episode of "Child Care Conversations," you’ll meet Mrs. Nancy Sylvester, a true champion for young mothers still in school. Nancy shares how her center offers not just childcare, but tutoring, parenting classes, and wraparound support for teen moms. Her story is full of wisdom, resilience (even through her own cancer battle), and moments of deep connection—like when her girls donned scarves in solidarity on Zoom. 
If you’re passionate about supporting families or want to start a similar program, this episode is a must-listen!

Leanr more at: https://www.globalconnectlearning.com/

Check out this episode's sponsor: https://www.tryplayground.com/

Thanks for Listening 🎧

• Want to learn more? Check out our book; "From Overwhelmed to I Got This: Guaranteed Success Route to Directing Your Childcare Center" 📖
• Join our Facebook Group for Childcare professionals!
• Join our Podcast Newsletter!
• Want to be a guest on our podcast? Go to our website to learn more.
• Are you looking for director training in Texas? Check out our Texas Director Website for our training and additional resources!

Transcript

Carrie Casey (00:47)
Hey guys, today's guest is a one of a kind. Well, maybe she's not one of a kind, but she's one of a kind as far as we've met. It's Mrs. Nancy Sylvester and she has had an extensive career where she has put the needs of children ahead of just about everything else. And she worked in the school district and

now has her own business and has had for a good long while. ⁓ So Nancy, can you tell our listener a little bit about your career before this career and how they connected? Because I think that's really interesting.

Nancy Sylvester (01:30)
Okay.

Okay.

All right. Well again, my name is Nancy Sylvester and I worked in the public school district for 35 years before I retired. I worked as a school counselor. I've been a school psychologist and also director of counselors for the local school district.

While I was working in the district, I found that there were so many young ladies who were having babies while they were still in school, actually some middle school, some high school. And under the, leadership was the dropout prevention as well as attendance.

So periodically when I would receive attendance reports and there were students who were out of school for extended periods of time, we sent truant officers out to their homes to check, see what's happening. And many times they came back and they said, well, this is a young lady and she is whatever grade, but she has a baby at home. So your hands are tied. What do you do? Basically there was nothing we could do because there was nothing provided for them in our district.

⁓ If they had the babies, then they just couldn't come to school unless they had someone to care for their babies. So at the time when I retired, I decided I want to do something to help these young ladies and also to give back to the community. And that's when I opened the childcare center.

Carrie Casey (03:04)
think that's great. One of my best friends ⁓ works in dropout prevention at a local high school. She's had some similar issues and she has more baby daddies in her program than the baby mamas. Them trying to figure out how to step up and be parents to these young children and do I stay in school or do I work?

Nancy Sylvester (03:19)
Yeah. Okay.

Yeah.

Carrie Casey (03:33)
which one is gonna provide better for my children and stuff like that. She talks to me about it from time to time and how hard it is for them to make that decision. They're not even adults yet and they're having to make these really, really difficult decisions about how to best take care of this child who for the most part they did not plan on.

Nancy Sylvester (03:38)
huh.

That's correct. And it is a very tough decision for them to make. In most instances, it falls back on the young mom that will have to be out of school. And I've had some young dads in our program, but most of the time it falls back on the young moms. But those are very, very difficult decisions because most of them want to continue school, but they may not have the support system in order to return to school after having their babies.

Kate Young (04:25)
Well, Nancy, if I remember right, and you are welcome to correct me, that one of the things that I was inspired by listening to your story and you talking about your program is that you guys do provide more than just surface level support. So yes, you're there to provide the support as far as quality child care for these

Nancy Sylvester (04:29)
Okay.

Yeah.

Kate Young (04:51)
you know, middle school, high school girls for them and their children, but you take it a step further. Tell me a little bit about what that looks like.

Nancy Sylvester (04:58)
Right.

Okay. All right. One of the requirements to be in the program is that they have to participate in an after school program. In the after school program, we can assist them with any homework that they may have. And also once a week, they are required to be a part of parenting sessions. So we hold those sessions after school. If they're not present, and he missed two sessions during the month.

then they're to have to pay for their babies to be in the center. And we know that they can't really afford to do that. So they are coming. They're attending the sessions that we have during the week. And also they have to keep their grades up. That's why we offer after school tutoring and have retired teachers from the public school district who come in and work with them. They cannot have a repeat pregnancy. So we get education for them so that

If they need information about birth control, safe sex, whatever it may be, then we provide information to work with our health department in order to keep them educated. ⁓ Also, counseling services are provided. A licensed therapist works with us and she's able to meet with them. She can have individual sessions with them or sometimes conduct group sessions with them so that we'd make sure that they're staying on track and they're able to manage their time.

and manage the situation that they're in and be able to work with even with their parents at home. We even have Saturday sessions. They just come periodically during the school year, but we get them together to do different activities. For instance, when it's prom time, we may have a session where they learn how to clean their skin, how to apply their makeup, and we'll actually purchase products for them. So they're going and looking their best when they go to prom. So we work with them.

We try to do a surround service where we're providing whatever their needs may be and making sure that these girls don't have to rely on maybe an older man to take care of them. Someone where they have to offer sexual favors in order to survive. So we take care not only their educational needs and providing the childcare, but we also take care of any other needs that the

young ladies may have, even financially, to help them if it's paying for graduation or needing diapers for their babies or formula for whatever reason. We want to be what we have to be to them to make sure that they're successful in school.

Carrie Casey (07:35)
And how do you fund all of this? You know, we all know that childcare subsidies is not going to cover all of those services that you've been talking about.

Nancy Sylvester (07:44)
Well, and most of our babies do not get the subsidy. We have to write grants. Every source that's available, we write for it so that we can provide the services for them. ⁓ And we've been open for 15 years. And I'm so grateful and thankful to God that we've been able to keep our program going ⁓ and we rely on grant funds.

to just not only provide for the needs of the girls, even to offset the cost of the staff ⁓ that we have to work with them.

Kate Young (08:16)
So tell us a little bit, let's talk not like numbers, numbers, but how big is your program? many, ⁓ zero to five do you have in your program normally? Like what's your capacity?

Nancy Sylvester (08:29)
Currently we have

62. We have 62.

Kate Young (08:32)
Okay, now,

so one of the things that we were talking about or that you had kind of mentioned in passing is on these Saturdays that this past session was actually with the girls in conflict resolution and that the next Saturday is actually with the girls mothers because you were talking about if I remember right that sometimes

I don't know, mothers and daughters have some conflict. And so you're helping to maybe break some of that generational curse ⁓ and helping the, I mean, we all know what it's like, or maybe we don't, maybe we can remember what it was like to be a teenager and to never agree what we have, what our mother had to say. And now we've added a whole other layer because now there's another generation in there and it's, you know, who's parenting whom, right? And, ⁓

Nancy Sylvester (09:22)
I know, but...

Kate Young (09:24)
I'm sure that's a source of conflict as I was ⁓ a single mom, but I was in my 20s and I moved home for a little bit. And that was a very hard year because my parents tried to parent my child. And I was like, he's not yours, get away. ⁓ So I can't even imagine doing that just a few years younger than I was. So.

Nancy Sylvester (09:41)
Yeah. All right.

Right. It's difficult

because like you say, there's another layer added and sometimes they may not agree with, especially when it comes to discipline that their parents provide or they sometimes feel that, you know, I have a baby now and I'm at an age where they feel that their parents cannot discipline them, but they still live in the home with their parents.

I have to emphasize constantly, but you're still at home. And as long as you're a child in your parents' home and then you're underage, then you're going to have to accept guidance from your parents. And so we talk about all of that, but we found so many situations where moms and daughters just, I mean, they are clashing. And the conflict resolution session that was held Saturday, I feel, was a great help.

when the girls were talking about their stories and sharing everything that they felt was occurring in their homes. And at the end of the meeting on Saturday, when they exited, I noticed all of them were hugging each other and supporting each other and saying, it's gonna be all right. I didn't know anyone else was really going through as much as I'm going through. I kept hearing them say that.

And ⁓ but we've explained all of them are basically having some issues one way or the other because they're teen moms and trying to handle and balance what's occurring in their lives. But ⁓ but again, we're meeting with their parents will be the next session that we have where the same persons who conducted this session this past Saturday within conduct the session with the parents and talk with them about how their children are feeling and help them to be able to work with how

they can better handle or deal with or be a guidance to their daughters with them having their babies. So, you know, some parents take charge and the young daughter, the young mom has no control. A parent raised a child just like it's their child, but you know, it happens differently in different households.

Kate Young (11:57)
Yeah, so it's are you mom with two kids or are you grandma and mom? And mom and daughter. Yeah. ⁓ I just that that that it warms my heart and the fact that there is such a resource like your program available. I would love to get any ideas you might have if somebody is listening, because we have folks all over the globe, literally.

Nancy Sylvester (12:03)
huh.

Mm-hmm.

Kate Young (12:23)
that

listen to our podcast. And so if somebody is listening to this and they're like, we have such a need for that in our community, how might somebody even get started? Like what was your first place to get started? Not so much from a funding, but just the emotional connection. And I think obviously probably what you did, your day job, your previous day job, 35 years with that population definitely.

You knew what you were, this was not a surprise to you. You knew where you were going.

Carrie Casey (12:54)
I'm

Nancy Sylvester (12:55)
say one of the great influences that I had was when I visited the facility where our center is located, which is in the Jackson Medical Mall. It's a very large facility. was an old shopping mall back years and years ago. And when I visited the facility, because I was director of counselors and student services, and they were wanting to provide services for children in that building,

And so my position required me to see where they wanted to be, know, who was going to be working with the children before our district actually endorsed them to work with them. And while I was visiting, I realized it was already set up because one of the medical facilities, one of our hospitals had a childcare center there for disabled children.

And that center had closed and that's what the medical mall was going to use for an after school program. And I said, if you really want to benefit this community, if you all could start a center to help these young girls, that would be the greatest benefit you can offer in this city. And I met with them, talked with them. We went over what could be done, how we could organize this. And finally, it was like, well, who will we find?

that would have the desire to work with these girls after school. Who would we have that would have that kind of patience is what they thought. And I said, I would have it, but you know, I'm still working. So the year that we opened the center, I retired. We ⁓ opened the center in January and I was overseeing what was occurring. And then that June,

I retired because I had already worked 35 years. I retired and became the full-time director there. And again, it's been a wonderful experience for me because, I mean, there's nothing greater I would want to do other than influence these young girls and then make sure that their babies are receiving a quality education, making sure that these girls are graduating high school and that they were able to be productive citizens.

that they're just not following a cycle where they're doing nothing with their lives. We make them feel good. We make them look good. We make them feel that even though I've had a baby, I'm on top of the world and I can accomplish anything that I choose to accomplish. And that's what we promote with them.

Carrie Casey (15:22)
Thank

And since you've been doing that for 15 years, you've got kids who were in your program 15 years ago, who now, even if they were on that younger end of like 12, they're 27. If they were more that high school age, they're 30. So...

Nancy Sylvester (15:45)
Yeah.

Right.

Kate Young (15:49)
Nancy

wants you doing the math, Carrie. ⁓

Carrie Casey (15:52)
Hahaha!

Nancy Sylvester (15:52)
That's all right. That's all right. That's all right. I don't mind saying

I'm 70. I don't mind saying it. But yes, I do. And I stay in touch with as many of them as possible. I want to stay in touch with the babies. I follow them into elementary school and monitor what's occurring with them, pull them back into our center in the afternoons if they're not doing as well as they should be in school to make sure that they're achieving and doing well.

But I do, a lot of the young ladies or adults, I have them to come back and speak to the younger girls only, okay?

Kate Young (16:25)
Okay, wait, wait, I have a question. I

just realized, Nancy, that means that you've got some kids that maybe have graduated high school. Some of your, the children of your children have graduated high school.

Nancy Sylvester (16:35)
Yes, yes.

yes. We have quite a few of them at graduation. Right, the children. That's right. Okay. ⁓

Kate Young (16:41)
I'm not going, not just the moms, but some of your children probably. Wow. What a legacy that you are absolutely leaving across Mississippi. think this is just, like I said, Carrie and I were so inspired by listening to your story. Now.

ask you a question because you said that your families aren't on federal subsidy or state subsidy. You mentioned the hospital had this building. where to and I know that you've got grants but do you have like does the hospital pick up the the rent for the space like how can you make this just as a for 62 kids that's a that's not a small program right so ⁓

Nancy Sylvester (17:04)
Bye.

Carrie Casey (17:27)
and you're offering lots of additional supports.

Kate Young (17:27)
I'm trying.

Forever!

Nancy Sylvester (17:33)
I have to pay rent where I am. I do. But I have other resources. I have foundations who make regular contributions to us to keep our program going. I'll ⁓ mention one that really was so instrumental in me getting started.

Kate Young (17:36)
Okay.

Nancy Sylvester (17:58)
was the Sunshine Lady Foundation. I don't know if you're all familiar with that, but...

Kate Young (18:04)
I'm not.

Nancy Sylvester (18:05)
That's Warren Buffett's sister, Doris. I appeared on a documentary with Tom Brokaw with my work that I was doing. they, her foundation, actually Ms. Buffett herself got in touch with me and she said, I'm gonna help you. And their foundation was very instrumental in us getting started. So that was our greatest booth for years.

Kate Young (18:10)
Okay.

Well, what?

I mean, what a great legacy that she's also now been able to truly have a hand in because a lot of, you know, foundations and funders, they don't get those stories. And I love the fact that you're giving your community, your county, your school district, those success stories. So if somebody wanted to reach out to you, we're going to have in the show notes your program. Would it be OK if people reached out to you if they're like, I want to do this in my community?

Nancy Sylvester (18:32)
Yeah.

Thank

Kate Young (19:02)
I feel called to do this. Is that something you have helped other people do and would you be open to doing that now that we've just put this out there? Maybe I should have asked before. ⁓

Nancy Sylvester (19:12)
Sure. ⁓

Carrie Casey (19:16)
You

Nancy Sylvester (19:18)
I've offered with others. have visitors in our center so frequently. Others who come even from other states and just want to know about our program and how we've been able to be successful with it. Or even state officials in Mississippi who've come and wanted information ⁓ about it.

talked with our legislators about what these young girls go through as a result of being 12, 13 years old and their parents. So I welcome anyone. I don't mind sharing the information. I wish more people would really get on board with it. I've tried to ask other child care centers in my area, but others are making a living by running their centers and they're looking for money. They're not looking for offering a service, but.

I wish there were others in our community who were willing to offer the same services that I offer.

Carrie Casey (20:14)
Well, I think that what you're offering is an amazing model. And if we can do a tiny little bit to help other people be inspired to maybe reach out to their hospital district or another place where maybe they could get some space to start the process ⁓ and get some support from you in figuring out how to put in frameworks that work to get those.

young mothers, the support and fathers, the support that they need while keeping them accountable in a way that is respectful. Because I think that's one of the things that really comes across. So many ⁓ programs for young mothers, young parents are very ⁓ finger wagging. You know, they're shaking their finger and saying, you shouldn't have done this. And what I get from you is

Nancy Sylvester (20:50)
⁓

Carrie Casey (21:07)
the respect for those people as individuals and that you're helping them to be the best versions of themselves that they can be. You're not fussing at them about how they made a bad decision, you know, nine months ago or two years ago.

Nancy Sylvester (21:23)
Right. That's right. have to have that. That relationship is so important. It is so very important. So when I go to a school and one of the young girls walk in their classroom and I'm seated in the back of the classroom, they know why I'm there. And they appreciate me being there. And I tell them, I'm here for you.

Carrie Casey (21:25)
And I think that's wonderful.

Nancy Sylvester (21:47)
those grades are not where they should be, you're going to see me. Everyone in school knows, okay, here comes Miss Sylvester. She's looking for one of those young ladies, you know, to make sure things are going well for them. And that's just what I do. That's just what I do. And again, I love it because I can make a difference in their lives. I do what many parents don't do.

Kate Young (22:02)
I

love, I mean this is not just,

this is like a whole other level of wraparound care. Like this is truly family immersion and you know we've got cities across the state of Texas and we know there are other cities across the country that this is almost an epidemic as far as you know teen pregnancies are in some parts of the country they're they're they're better, other parts they're the same as they've been.

Nancy Sylvester (22:11)
Mm-hmm. Yeah.

I

Mm-hmm.

Kate Young (22:35)
15,

20 years, right? We haven't solved that problem, but I love the way you're supporting. Absolutely.

Nancy Sylvester (22:39)
Yeah.

Carrie Casey (22:39)
Well, and in other countries too, in other countries as well. mean, this is not

a problem that is a Mississippi problem or a Texas problem or a Bangladesh problem, right? This is a human problem. Women have functioning ovaries and occasionally have hormones.

Nancy Sylvester (22:47)
No.

Thank you.

huh.

Right, Yeah.

Carrie Casey (23:03)
That means that

their education sometimes is interrupted because they had children. And I think you're doing an amazing and have been, obviously you've been, you know, gotten lots of awards and recognition over the year. And we're just kind of adding to that because.

Nancy Sylvester (23:07)
Yeah.

Thanks

Okay,

okay. Yeah. And one thing I'd like to share that touched me so, three years ago, I was diagnosed with cancer. And because of the nature of the treatments that I was undergoing, I could not go into the childcare center and I wasn't able to meet with the girls. So we did everything on Zoom. And one night after, you know, after I lost all of my hair and I had to, I kept it covered.

And one night, some of the girls just didn't have their cameras on. And toward the end of the meeting, I said, because we had a picture for our grant to show that we're actually meeting. So we had to take a picture. And I said, everyone, please, please turn your cameras on. I don't know why you all have allowed me to see you tonight. When they turned their cameras off, everyone had their heads wrapped.

They all wrapped with me since, you know, I had no hair during that time, but I was just so shocked.

Kate Young (24:13)
No!

I mean, that's just an even more glorious component of your story, Nancy. ⁓ Thank you so much for sharing it with us. If you are listening to today's episode and you heard something that you think somebody else needs to know, maybe it's a local legislator, maybe it is your school district, ⁓ maybe you just wanna make sure that somebody else gets to hear Nancy's wonderful story, share the show with someone who needs to know.

and go up into the show notes, hit text to the show, tell us your story or someone whose story you want us to share. And we have all of Nancy's information in the show notes. So please, if Nancy inspired you and you want to do something that's more than just what your school district might already be offering, reach out.

Get some tips from Nancy. I have no doubt that she would love to mentor you, your program, and your community. And we can't wait to see you guys in a few days.