342: Are You Making Too Many Reactive Decisions in Your Childcare Leadership?

Ever feel like you're constantly putting out fires instead of running your program? Carrie and Kate get real about the hidden costs of reactive decision-making in childcare leadership. From losing staff and families to making impulsive purchases, those snap decisions add up fast! They share some genuinely practical strategies, like taking a simple pause before responding, leaning on your policies as a guide, and knowing when it's time to let someone go. If you're ready to lead with more confidence and less chaos, this one's worth a listen!

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Transcript

SPEAKER_02 0:01

Welcome to Child Care Conversations, the podcast where early childhood leaders like you get real-world strategies, honest talk, and a whole lot of support. Whether you're running one center or many, we're here to help you lead with confidence and clarity. This episode is brought to you by CenterIQ. If you've ever added a child to a classroom, adjusted staffing, or made a quick schedule change, and then spent the next two weeks fixing the ripple effects, you're not alone. Most leaders make decisions and then see what happens. CenterIQ's decision intelligence lets you see what happens before you decide. Start your free trial today at centeriq.io. Now, let's get into today's conversation. One we think you're really going to love.

SPEAKER_00 0:51

So, we get into a situation where we are being reactive instead of being proactive. You do it, I do it, Kate does it, we all do it. But it is costing you not just money and not just time, but a little bit of your sanity being in that reactive mode. And so we want to talk a little bit about how making too many decisions is kind of ruining your life and how to make better decisions when you have to make decisions. So two different concepts, but they're related. You're making too many dang decisions, and a good number of them you're making, you're making in a reactive mode.

SPEAKER_01 1:36

All right. So let's talk a little bit about some of the decisions that we know directors and owners are making every single day right now. So every single day, you have a parent that has an issue and a staff person that has an issue. And a lot of times folks will make a decision right then and there instead of following any of the time management skills that we've taught over the past, which includes whether it's monkey management or ducks in a row, depending on when you heard us do the workshop. But if you've ever heard us say, schedule that appointment, schedule that next, like don't respond immediately because even if it's your own kid. Yeah. Yeah. When's the next feeding time? Love that. And remember what it was.

SPEAKER_00 2:23

Even if it's the next feeding time is in five minutes. I'm okay with that. But if somebody is coming at you with something they need to know right now, then I need you to say, hang on, I'm gonna go to the restroom. I'll come back and we'll talk about it. Like use your body as an excuse to leave that room instead of making a decision that's going to haunt you. I gotta go get a glass of water. I gotta go this, that, or the other thing. Step out, give your brain a time to move to the prefrontal cortex. Because when somebody's coming at you with an issue, you are in fight or flight mode. Fight, flight, freeze, or fawn. There we go. I got all four Fs that time. And so if you're back there in that part of your brain, you're not making good decisions because your decision is how do I get away from the saber-toothed tiger? And the saber-toothed tiger is a parent who is mad because they you lost one of their children's socks. That is not a saber-toothed tiger.

SPEAKER_01 3:23

My favorite way to do this, and Carrie does it way better than I do, but it's, you know what? I hear you, Mr. or Mrs. So-and-so, Mr. and Mrs. Smith. Why don't you sit right down here and I will be back as soon as I tell everybody that I've got a meeting with you? And then then you're not only, you're not really using your body as the excuse. You're saying, look, I'm going to give you some private time, but I got to go tell people that I'm taking my tiger time and I'm going to give you an opportunity to use some of my tiger time. And I just think that that says volumes to a parent. It says, I hear you. I value you and your time. I want to respect your time by making sure people know I cannot be interrupted. And it gives you that five or 10 minutes, whatever you need to maybe calm yourself down, to maybe do a little research. If you got a little wind of what might be, you know, getting them all riled up. You could go swing by that teacher's room real quick and go, okay, so what is up with Mr. and Mrs. Smith? You know, you know, tell me what's going on here. You know, you've got a little time to do some internal prep because most of us are not improvers, right? Most of us have not taken training where we can just improv responses that might sound coherent.

SPEAKER_00 4:47

Well, but even if you have taken improv training, they're not making a decision that's going to have thousands of dollars worth of repercussions. Um, you know, everybody in my family except me has had improv training. But when they're doing improv, it's how do I keep this scene going for another 27 seconds? It is not, you know, am I going to have to terminate an employee? Am I going to have to terminate enrollment for someone? Am I going to have to buy new equipment, put in cameras, take out cameras, like all of these kinds of decisions that you might be tempted to make in a knee-jerk reaction. We need to be making more thoughtful decisions. And sometimes the decision is to follow the policies and procedures that you already created. And if the parent is mad because of a sock, because I use the sock all the time, because I had a number of parents over my career who would get so mad about socks. And the policy was that if it was under$5, we would just buy them new socks. And at this point, it would probably be more like if it was under$15. Just buy them new socks, guys. Just stop fighting, take the Disney approach and have a policy that if they have they're missing their old Navy socks in size one, just go buy some more old Navy socks in size one, they will ship it to your school. It's fine. But if the policy that you need to adhere to, if the decision somebody's asking you to make is um, can I pay my tuition late? You have a policy on that. How is tuition handled? If they're asking for an exemption to the policy, do they have a really dang good reason? Like they, you know, their parenting partner was hit by a car. Okay, I'm willing to consider maybe delaying your tuition when your tuition is due, because your partner was just hit by a car. But if your cat was hit by a car, I'm not reconsidering tuition.

SPEAKER_01 6:59

But you know what? You brought up a really great point. And I think that this is something that hopefully everybody who's listening will take a small pause in because we all have policies and procedures. We all have parent handbooks and staff handbooks. But what we don't have always in those parent handbooks and staff handbooks is a if you do this or don't do this, this happens. We don't always have the consequence. And so you might have a policy that tuition needs to be paid on time, but you may or may not be very clear on what happens if they don't pay on time.

SPEAKER_00 7:38

And you may have a policy on this is when late fees start, but do you have a policy on how many times this happens and then you are no longer a fit for our program and we're disenrolling you?

SPEAKER_01 7:50

Because that's the other or how many days can you be late before you disenroll? Like there's one thing, like, you know, or there are there one-time exceptions. Anytime you ever make an exception, write it down. Absolutely. Write it down, but you also have to figure out is that something I should now include in my handbook because you know that that person is gonna talk. Right? And so, you know, if you want to put a little asterisk that says, in extreme circumstances, talk to owner, talk to director, whatever, because you've now set a precedent. Yeah. And because again, staff and parents talk.

SPEAKER_00 8:32

I I wouldn't I wouldn't say extreme circumstances because some people are gonna think that their cat having gotten its tail run over is an extreme circumstance. And I don't think a cat getting its tail run over is an extreme circumstance. I think in cases of prolonged illness, hospitalization, death, like I would give what are actual extenuating circumstances. Um military deployment, like those are the four that pop into my head as you could just have the asterisk that says check with the office.

SPEAKER_01 9:05

Yeah and in your office have it printed. Because again, once you put something in writing, it's amazing how people are much more like, okay, that's the rule. Um, you know, and and that goes the same thing with your staff. If you've got a staff person who um is insubordinate, you know, this is not a oh, well, when we, you know, they walked out of a meeting or oh, they were they were not very nice to my assistant director. You know what? That only happens one time and you write them up. If it happens twice, you have to decide are they the right fit for your program? And, you know, if there's a way that you don't.

SPEAKER_00 9:45

See, you're back to that decide question. Is that a decision or should that be a policy? So is that a I have to step away and take five minutes and think about it, or is it a policy? It is so much easier to live your life if you thought about it once and you wrote up the policy. And the policy said insubordination includes but is not limited to, and this is in your standard operating procedures. This doesn't have to be in the handbook, but you need to write down for yourself what is insubordination, because when you're feeling down on yourself, there's more things that you're willing to tolerate and not recognize that that's insubordination. But if you've written down for yourself, you know what it looks like.

SPEAKER_01 10:30

That is a great point. And this is also why, oh, this is why everybody needs to have their tribe. Okay. So if you are listening to this episode and you don't have your industry tribe, in other words, you don't have your three or four people in the industry that you can call and go, let me tell you about the crazy parent. Because we are in a situation. We've got some, we've got a group coaching program. So if you didn't know that, Carrie and I do run group coaching, um, and we have a group coaching program. And this exact scenario happened where we were listening to a director talk about the way a teacher talked to them. And I was like, get her out of there, you know, because I could see it from where I was that this teacher was incredibly insubordinate, where they didn't necessarily see it that way. They thought maybe she was rude, but again, it wasn't, they didn't stop and think about the decisions. And our whole goal is that we want you this month to start thinking about your decisions and how can you make better decisions? And are those poor decisions costing you money? So, Carrie, we had a second part of this episode that we wanted to go down. So let's go there.

SPEAKER_00 11:44

Okay. So if you keep a staff member who should be terminated, how much money is that gonna cost you? It's gonna cost you their payroll and their benefits. But if they're a staff person who shouldn't be at your school anymore, is it also gonna cost you lower productivity in your other staff, increased absenteeism in your other staff? Is it gonna maybe cost somebody else to quit who you don't want to quit? And I don't know, how about some parents? That's what I was gonna say. And what is it doing to your enrollment? So not firing somebody who needs to be fired could easily come up to like thousands and thousands and thousands of dollars quickly because of their payroll, the lack of productivity of other people, staff turnover, and um retention of your clients. Get those people out who need to get out. How do we exit them though? I mean, Kate will just call them into the office and go, you're out of here, busta. But you have to have enough staff to be able to say you're out of here, buster, right?

SPEAKER_01 12:54

Knowing when we talk about, say, knowing your numbers, for example, I mean, that should be one of them, right? You should know how many of your rooms have are in ratio, what rooms or how many substitutes or floaters do you have, how many people do you have in your pipeline, so that if you need to let go of somebody, right? So, you know, hire slow, fire fast. And the first time that person is insubordinate, you let them go. You don't wait till they do it three or four times. If you have a family who leaves, who tells you they're leaving because of another of a parent or because of a teacher.

SPEAKER_00 13:31

Well, or if they're leaving because of another parent. I've had that happen too. There are parents who you keep, you hold on to, even though they are obviously a wrong fit for your community, and they're causing trouble. They're stirring the pot. And then you have other parents who leave because they just can't handle the negative attitude at the, you know, at pickup and drop off, because there's this one parent who's always whining, and they're like, well, if they're whining every day, there's probably some some fire behind all that smoke. There isn't. It's just a grumpy person. They need to leave your program because they're going to cost you other money. What are some other ways that making reactive decisions can cost people money, Kate?

SPEAKER_01 14:22

Well, I mean, we've we've talked about the two that probably instinctively pop into people's minds that probably wasn't a surprise, right? That you make a reactive decision about a staff person or about a parent. But I would think that there's probably a fair amount of us who have been sold something at some point in time. I mean, I love myself a good salesperson, but most of the time they've hit a nerve, they've caused you to react because they've done their job. And that decision may or may not be the best decision for your company long term. It doesn't mean that it's not a product or service that you need. It's is it right for our industry? Is it right for your program? Is it right for your community? Is it right for the amount of time they want you to even commit? So I'm gonna talk about the yellow pages. Because I think there's enough. I bet we'll do that. I bet they do. Okay, let's just talk about magazine or newspaper magazine, community newspaper magazine articles, right? So, because a lot of cities still have some sort of print publication. So Gary's not gonna let me talk about the yellow pages, I talk about something else. And here's the thing we absolutely need to be marketing our program. Not gonna argue with that. But when a magazine comes in and they start giving you all these big numbers and they tell you who their clients are, um, unless that is a paid subscription, they're basing their numbers off of where they drop the publication. So if it's a free publication and they drop it all over town, you know what? I can print up flyers and drop them all over town too. And so, you know, you need to be really clear. And if you decide to, don't let them talk you into the biggest thing or always say, you know, that sounds great. Let me get back to you. Because if it was really great, it is still gonna be really great tomorrow. It is still gonna be really great next month. If they're talking to you about advertising and it's during the time of your enrollment cycle that doesn't make sense to advertise, then don't advertise with them. I don't care what kind of deal they give you. If they're giving you an awesome deal in October, don't take it.

SPEAKER_00 16:57

What do you want to take it in October? Huh? Why can't I take it in October?

SPEAKER_01 17:02

Listen to the episode in a few weeks. Um, no, so I mean, but it's one of those things, don't make, don't buy anything on that kind of a decision either, right? I am sure that somebody somewhere has told you to not buy cars or homes or anything, timeshares, any of that stuff, you know, immediately. Either keep waiting, wait them out because they're gonna come up with a whole lot better deals, or really ask yourself, is that really something that you need right then, right there? And did they find you because, you know, you made the news and you really didn't want to make the news? And so they're responding to your um fear factor, right? I mean, there are some things that we should always be asking and and researching, right? Do we have the right technology? Do we have the right marketing partner? Do I really need all that software? When's the last time I got a second insurance quote?

SPEAKER_00 17:59

I probably don't.

SPEAKER_01 18:00

When's the last time I, you know, I got a second insurance quote, right? Do have I have I had a conversation with a tax strategist or only my bookkeeper. Right? So, and we know that not all of us know everything. I mean, the the what Carrie and I have learned over the last 15 years related to tax strategy versus what we know knew when we started our businesses and started in the industry over 30 years ago is huge. Yep. Outside of the fact that taxes change, right? Like right, but they do nobody told me. Yeah, I know government policies change. Big surprise, big surprise. Big, big, big surprise. But in that same sense, if you are somebody who is responding to, and this is where we're gonna close this episode out if you're sitting here and you're going, I can't do X anymore because of Y. So for example, I can't fill my preschool classroom anymore because now there's free public school in my community, I'm going to tell you that that needs to shift. That that train of thought, that mindset needs to shift. Because really what you're saying is you're blaming somebody else and you're absolutely sure you have nothing to do with that. Um, I'm gonna tell you that's probably not a hundred percent true. Because if you were an awesome program and your parents loved you and they have loved you since day one, and you'd been telling them all of the reasons why your kids need to be in your program, then they're gonna stay. You might have a few who might leave because finances really are that tight. But most of them would stay if you helped them understand the difference between public pre-K and your private program.

SPEAKER_00 19:47

If you are, if you feel like a victim, then you're going to act like a victim and you're not gonna make a good decision. If the only re you are having so much staff turnover, and it's because there's now a grocery store that is a half a mile from your school, and they're taking all of your, you know, new people who would be your new staff, or they're quitting to go work there because they have to work fewer hours and they get paid more, you know, to get the same amount of money. Um, that's not why they're leaving. They're not leaving because of that alone. There is a reason that that program is more appealing to them that has to do with you. Yes, getting paid more is nice, but that is not most people are not just gonna leave because of pay difference. They're gonna leave because they are in an environment where there's lots of gossip and the pay is better at the other place. Or they're gonna leave because um nobody seems to even notice when they're at work and the pay is better. So it's not it's not just one or the other, it's an and. So if you're feeling like poor, poor pitiful me about stuff, I'm gonna ask you to have your pity party. We all need them sometimes. I need them sometimes. It's okay to have a pity party, but at the end of the pity party, I need you to stop and think what might I have contributed to this situation? What did I do or not do that made it such that someone wanted to enroll in my program or wanted to disenroll in my program, or, you know, join the team working here or wanted to leave the team working here, or whatever the situation is. And this is something that happens in advocacy too. We get into the pity part. Party parade about, you know, people don't value childcare enough. That is 100% true. But if you show up to talk to the legislators or the city council people with that thought process, as opposed to asking, saying, this is a solution for this pro for this part of the problem that you can help me with, then you can move things forward. If you're just talking about what is bad as opposed to how to solve this problem, then it's really hard to make a good decision. We tell our staff to don't come into the office with a problem in your classroom if you haven't already tried a couple of things to improve it. It's the same for you as the leader. Have you already tried a couple of things to try to fix that situation? I know it stinks. I know this is annoying, but we have to do, we have to do it just as much as we want our staff to do it. Put on our big girl pants and make better decisions.

SPEAKER_01 23:07

Absolutely. So as you're making better decisions, don't forget to share the show. Make sure you have subscribed to our newsletter, go to childcareconversations.com. We drop two episodes a week of sometimes we've got freebies and other great tips. We've got resources on our blogs. And so we hope that you will subscribe and we will see you in a few days. Bye bye.

SPEAKER_02 23:33

Thanks for tuning in. We love bringing you real talk and fresh insight from the world of early childhood education. Be sure to follow us on social media to stay connected and catch all of the latest episodes. And if you're planning a conference, training, or special event, Kate and Carrie would love to speak to your audience. You can learn more about their keynote sessions and workshops at kateandcary.com. If you learned something today, share the show and leave us a review below. We'll see you next time on Child Care Conversations.